Let me tell you a quick story….

My life hit rock bottom and I lost everything. I was living out of a twilight zone episode, feeling like a fish out of water. Loud shouts, long arguments, lonely days even when there was someone sleeping next to me. So much to celebrate I just earned my doctorate degree, preparing to take on the world with my gifts and talents… My life came to a long halt, the perfect picture of a healthy relationship I falsely posted on social media. Trying to regain some dignity and privacy, outside from my inner circle of friends and family who knew the real truth. Embarrassed, humiliated that I stayed so long when I should of left at the first offense. I was drawing in slow, steady breaths from my internal blow ups, dishing out false smiles hiding my deepest brokenness as I happily masked my replies to the question How are you doing today? With a passive-aggressive comment… Blessed and highly flavored my brown skin carved out the stressed lines on my outside appearance , but feeling like a true defeated solider in this war called life.

Every situation in my marriage and my life was brought with irrational reactions that led to inconsequential red flags. Apologies and never-ending makes up with no physical change. My heart was demanding immediate action I wanted my pain to stop. My responses were done quickly without a thought or care to the offenses of humiliation and the belittling of the verbal abuse that spiraled out of his mouth. I fought through contemplating taking inappropriate action or risks fantasizing violence.

8 years later and a few rounds of breaking up and getting back together again… I came to myself and was awakened to my reality this is not going to be beneficial in the long haul. I was torn and broken with the pain of this break up, a break up with my perfect image of marriage, my perfect togetherness and God will fix it with just a little bit more praying and fasting and counseling…. HA!

I would make the decision to leave and then stay… but what I was really wrestling with was the pain of the final good-bye and sticking to my decision…even if it meant that I would be sad at times and alone for a while. On November 2, 2017 I left and never looked back…. I needed an exit and fast… bags and baby girl packed walking out the door with holding a hand up as if to say No more! I woke up and encouraged myself with these affirming words. I will not go back to avoiding something I know I need to do just because it is going to be Painful! Depressed, eating to sooth my pain, gaining weight and isolated from life’s joy. Hopelessness became my sister friend and negative Nelly was my chaperone, whenever I tried to travel to possibilities with relationships, goals etc.

How many of us have went through some painful time in our lifetime. How many of us are stuck in the middle of making a difficult decision in our lives that you believe will hurt some people, make some people upset and better yet reject you in the end.

I needed a comeback strategy… Right here, Right now..

I knew that anyone who desires to be successful in whatever they put their mind too, knows that what they want in life requires a painful, time-limited steps, but they don’t sweat it because they know at the end of it all… there are long term benefits. This is universally noted… the phrase NO Pain, NO Gain means that anything of value has a rhythm… it goes a little something like this pain first, payoff later… If we face the pain first, the payoff will definitely come later.

With raised eyebrows I tracked my recovery steps thoroughly with my witty commentary and observations. My eyes lit with an inner glow… I told myself that change is coming and “I’m Possible” with a new outlook on life…