This is a three part series of my experience of being diagnosed with Corona Virus ( COVID -19), my hospital stay and my current road to recovery…

Death was crouching at a sister life’s door… You have no idea how much you value breath until you need some on credit. I was in a tight spot and my lungs was closing up shop because they was not functioning right. I thought to myself wait… I was just working out doing my new Pilates routine and walking a mile a day. I went from totally healthy to totally sick. I was in an unannounced battle with anxiety as I took each breath and step which was calculated to gain some regularity to my breathing.

A dark cloud of death with a touch of chaos hovered and swarmed around the room, patiently waiting to attack and I knew something was about to go down. My mind was foggy, visuals of things in the living room was shifting, mind shifting, body shifting for comfort but no relief. I was told that life is punctuated with questions and rightfully so, the questions in my head start running through my mind a mile a minute. My mind drifting in and out of track races filled with flashbacks of me trying to re-track my steps.

A few days ago I was experiencing back pain 

on both sides and experiencing chills and feverish sweats at night. I didn’t really pay them any mind because when you know your body with age things start to change like becoming pre-menopausal. Go figure… I attributed my body pain to my new workout routine, because I had started using muscles I have never used before. I just thought I was sore from pushing myself to meet my physical strength goals. I ended up taken these awesome pain reliever from “Bayer” called “Back and Body” 500 mg to stop the aches, but it didn’t last very long. In addition, it is allergy season and during this time I always experience symptoms that warrant that I use my “Albuterol Inhaler” for my Asthma especially when there is a heavy fall of pollen in the area. But, I was experiencing shortness of breath and I pumped my inhaler more than the allotted dosages and nothing was working.

I wondered what is happening and how did I get sick? What did I miss? I couldn’t have the Corona Virus because I was following the rules. I shut myself in and was using gloves and masks for protection from the spread of the virus. I am already on a weight loss journey by managing a healthy regiment of home remedies of teas and supplements, Ginger tea with cinnamon and Honey and Tumeric. Magnesium is good for heart health and avoid muscles spasms. My favorite Elderberries to build up my immune system just to name a few. So, for the life of me I couldn’t wrap my mind around, why does it hurt to breath? chest tightening with each gasp like its fighting to inhale and exhale simultaneously at a comfortable pace. Barely breathing I continued to walk slowly, trying to not to alarm my body of sudden moves that made me feel unstable. I tried many times to avoid the frequent panic attacks. They were rolling in on me like a game of blackjack.My soul lingered with grief and pain and it wasn’t long before the pace of life and the state of my soul began to display forms of panic that frightened me. Hyperventilating with each cough as I was strolling to the restroom. I gasp for air while at the same time I am coughing and gagging as I sat on the toilet. Suddenly, I felt life leave my body, as my body began to slowly go limp.Somehow, I was having an outer body experience and I felt my life resuscitated with a snap.At that very instant, I received a Face time call from my friend Nina, and she said “you look terrible.” In my mind I wanted to say thanks for your honesty, but she was telling the truth. Not only did I look terrible I felt terrible. I could barely talk on the phone, which is strange, because anyone who knows me knows I have a phone Jones that was divorcing me as became more and more lifeless. I remember her last words to me, “if you get worse, go to the hospital.” I was at my worst!… I struggled with having the capacity to explain in words of how I was feeling, but the words spoke through my body.I wondered why my asthma pump wasn’t working. As I mustered up the strength to walk from the bathroom to the couch. Walter, my good friend, who I love as my brother asked me do you want me to take you to the emergency room? I immediately responded by saying YES!… I knew it was time to go to the hospital before I left the restroom. I was to ashamed and embarrassed because I was avoiding the hospital because I didn’t have any medical insurance and I feared being turned away. Walter, sick as well just the day before I took him to the hospital where they nurse met with him briefly and stated you probably at the tail end of having the Corona Virus. Walter had been sick for over ten days. Because his vitals were stable they sent him home with no medical care or guidance.

The transition had been slow, deep, and far-reaching for me as I walk to Walter’s truck in the parking lot of the apartment building. Thank God the hospital is only five minutes away from my house.

The emergency room doorway looked like it was miles away in between my pauses as I slowly move walked to the hospital doors. I finally made it through the doorway. In the emergency room was a female nurse sitting behind a desk in an empty waiting room. She began to ask me questions like what is my name and is this my first time coming to this particular hospital? and what brought me there? Faintly, I replied I have asthma issues and unable to breathe properly. Airy and lonely was the view that washed over me as I quickly glanced over the deserted waiting room once again before a male nurse rushed to take my vitals and get a wheelchair to transport me to another part of the hospital. Things started to move faster than I can walk. As I traveled to my destination as I passed other medical staff and other patients in the hallways.

Overwhelmed with all kind of feelings and thoughts, my world as I knew it was spinning out of control as I was wheeled to the front of a glass door of an emergency room that had signs taped to the window “unclean” “cleaned.” These were room designated for those who needed to be quarantined who probably had been tested for Covid 19. I made it into the cold hospital room, medical equipment and fixtures properly set up for the next patient. I guess that was me…eyes wide open with uncertainty in my heart as I was helped onto the bed by staff. Dr. Hill introduces himself from the door way of the emergency room as states“ you show signs of the Corona Virus.” No full examination and you tell me what? I’m like I have asthma problems not Corona Virus and I got real spiritual with my weak self. Worried, timing is awful and there is too much going on. I talked myself into letting the Doctor’s do their jobs. Nurse entered my room, you can see the smile in her eyes, covered from head to toe. She said, hi my name is Jamie and I am your nurse while your in the emergency room. She informed me that she would be the one to conduct the Corona Virus test on me. The Corona Virus test kit was two white long stem specimens with soft bristles at the end of it and she stuck it up each one of my nostrils and stated that the results will come back up to one hour if you’re positive and four to five hours if you’re negative.

Correct me if I’m wrong but if you administer a test to get results whether negative or positive shouldn’t they come back at the same time and not 4 to 5 hours after if your negative?… My eyebrow goes up like the “Rock” to smell what they cooking, because I was not ready to die under no circumstances periodt. Intervenes prepared in my right arm, oxygen tank on 2ml assisting with controlling my breathing. Next set of nurses conducted a back x-ray right in my room. They directed me to sit up straight in the hospital bed and take a deep breath… I am like are you kidding me? Take a deep breath?Memories of my life flashes before me as I remember what I heard from news reporter of the global death rate was at 50,000 and more than 200,000 tested positive, numerous of people sick with pneumonia flu like symptoms and contributing illnesses that can’t be controlled. Uncertainty, set up a place in my eyes as I thought I need to call my immediate family to inform them thatI was in the hospital and it was a possibility that I can test positive for COVID 19. 

Two hours had passed and a sweaty overweight Caucasian male doctor from Infectious Disease Center enters my room to inform me I tested positive for the Corona Virus…What??? Minutes later with tears in her eyes and quivering speech, she confirmed that I tested positive for Covid-19. Every word he said after “you tested positive” was a blur he was sounding just like Charlie brown and the Peanut Gallery.

Heart racing, I’m feeling light-headed as I cry out… Oh no tears rolling down my face, raw and uncontrolled adrenaline spikes of fear pushed my faith and courage straight out of the door along with the doctor as I was left alone with my thoughts, dreams and regrets bombarding my heart dropped as I lay in a lonely cold hospital room faced with the truth of my diagnosis, no cure and no real recovery stories to glean from for a glimmer of hope. I was flooded with regrets and shattered dreams of my own glow up went blank. All I can do is ask what is next? April 25, 2020 is a day that is forever etched in my memory. Dr. Hill goes home after completing his shift and drops by my room to inform me that Dr. Hassen will be my attending doctor moving forward. Dr. Hassen makes a visit to my emergency room as she examines me and tells me I have to admit you into the hospital for some days to monitor and maintain your breathing with breathing treatments and antibiotics.

Tears down my face and I thought I am going to die. I wasn’t ready to leave this side of heaven without having the opportunity to rob the grave. I wanted to be able to exhaust every aspect of my life and disperse my gifts and talents to family, friends and the world with love, blessings, books and ministry that will leave an indelible legacy no one could forget.Stripping of my clothing, I felt like I was in a green room changing for my next scene in my movie called “Life”. I quickly put into a hospital gown and wheeled through the corridors of the hospital into a elevator going down. I thought this is it, I’m dead for real this time as my hospital bed turned the corner to a view that in the twilight zone. Men and women hospital staff covered from heads to toe. Medical equipment ringing from every unit. Slowly as I traveled down the hall I witnessed rows and rows of Corona Virus patients. The sound of monitors going off frightened me, there were sick people everywhere. Nobody is going to know what happened to me, us in here I cried as I’m brought to complete stop to bed number 14…